It’s OK to want to feel sexy! Wanting to feel pleasure in your life is normal! (It’s also totally ok if you don’t want these things.) True wellness means that you know and understand the things that make you feel and operate your very best. If a lackluster sex drive is bothering you, it’s ok to want to boost it! There are a lot of ways to boost your sexual wellness, that are good for your overall health too!

Here are six things you can try to help boost your sexual wellness:

1.) Explore self-pleasure

You’ll never know what truly brings you pleasure until you actually try to bring yourself pleasure. And having orgasms makes it easier for you to have more orgasms.

2.) Mitigate stress

Stress is a huge libido killer. When your body has to produce cortisol, our main stress hormone, it actually means it can’t produce your other sex hormones properly.

You can’t completely avoid stress, but living in ways that promote your personal best version of health is probably your best method of defense against stress. Things like promoting your gut heath, reducing bodily inflammation, eating lots of fiber, etc. Your sexual wellness is directly tied to your overall wellness.

Other practices you can try are earthing, journaling, mindfulness meditation and even masturbation (see number 1.)

3.) Improve sleep hygiene

Proper rest is essential for maintaining libido. (Also for having healthy menstrual cycles!) Improving your sleep hygiene means removing things that might be hindering the quality of your rest (like screens close to bedtime) and adding in things that can help promote sleep (like comfortable bedding, dim lighting, a calming pre-bedtime routine, etc.)

4.) Include hormone-supporting foods in your routine

It turns out that a lot of the foods believed to be aphrodisiacs, really are hormone-boosting superfoods. We wrote a whole blog post about five very common ones. Read it here or in The Agenda. App.

5.) Treat yourself like someone you love

Simply by being here, we know you are someone who cares about their health. You are learning about your menstrual cycle, your body and how it operates. This is a huge act of self care. Once you learn how amazing your body is, it’s hard to be as critical. And if you can’t seem to feel love towards your body just yet, that’s OK. Body neutrality is a great goal too.

Here are a few ways you can being to cultivate a more positive attitude towards yourself:

• Lay in bed and simply caress your body
• Slow down when putting lotion on your body
• Get a hand mirror and familiarize yourself with your vulva
• Choose beautiful flattering clothes
• Practice positive self-talk or affirmations in the mirror. Reinforce the things you do love about yourself. (This is a great habit to start during the follicular/ovulatory phases.)

6.) Practice mindfulness during foreplay

Distracted thoughts (often stress-inducing thoughts) can really put a hamper on your ability to get in the mood. So try to stop thinking about the dirty dishes in the sink and maybe try one of these techniques instead:

• Don’t just say “you’re not in the mood”

You might not be “in the mood” in that exact moment, no, but what if you had 10-15 minutes to get in the mood. You could say something like “ask me again in 15 minutes.” Then you find somewhere you can take some deep breaths or quick meditation and start to visualize the fun to be had.

• Self awareness during foreplay

Now is not the time to be thinking of your to-do list!

• Try not to have an orgasm

If having an orgasm has been an issue, take the pressure off yourself! Enjoy the feelings of pleasure and intimacy that are your present moment.

Bonus Tip

Keep notes on how your libido changes throughout your menstrual cycle via The Agenda. App. Being a good cycle scientist means you’ll know when you might need a little help getting the engines revved up or maybe a lot of help via a medical professional. Learn more about how your libido can shift throughout your menstrual cycle here.